Sex Mistakes: 5 Things To Never Do In Bed
Published: 10th December, 2021
There is more to sex than just ‘licking it and sticking it’. Think of it like a Rubik’s Cube; sometimes you’re able to get it right on the first go but there may be other occasions where you need a few more tries until you crack the code.
That’s alright because we learn and grow through the mistakes we make. If everyone was perfect and knew exactly what to do in bed, the sex therapy industry would take a massive hit.
The reality is that it is very easy to make the wrong move during sex and for some people, that can be a real deal-breaker. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel!
We've compiled the 5 biggest sex mistakes one can make while "riding the steam train", to help you skip any hurdles on the way.
Mistake #1: Failing To Realize That Everyone Has Unique Preferences
Sex is not a ‘one size fits all’ activity.
What your previous lover enjoyed, your current may not. Your ex-girlfriend may have gushed to have her clitoris sucked like a vacuum. Your current lover may prefer lighter strokes. The guy from Tinder you hooked up with last month may have loved a finger up his butt during a blowjob. The next guy you shag may have a totally different reaction.
Everyone is different and you should never assume that you know your partner’s preferences without prior discussion.
This is why communication is paramount in the bedroom. If you’re unsure about something, ask questions and if something doesn’t feel right, say something. Tell your partner what gets you off and where to touch you.
Mistake #2: Neglecting Foreplay
Do not try to skip or cut corners when it comes to foreplay.
The worst thing you can do is stick your dick in a dry pussy. To a woman, that’s almost like losing her virginity all over again. Sex is not supposed to be painful but for some women, it can be without foreplay.
Foreplay is like the opening act of a concert. Before they bring on the main artist, they build anticipation and hype the crowd up with a smaller artist. That’s the same approach we should take to sex. Sure, there are some people who like to jump right into it, but we’re speaking for the folks in the back when we say that foreplay is important.
Men need foreplay too; don’t think that every man gets hard from the sight of boobs. If there is one thing a man loves, it’s getting his cock sucked. This is especially true for older men.
Mistake #3: Trying To Recreate A Porn Scene
Porn is not real; it’s just entertainment.
Don’t lose a limb trying out some crazy sex position you saw on Pornhub. Remember, they get paid to be daring, you don’t.
In no way are we trying to discourage you from being adventurous, we’re just saying that it’s possible to enjoy sex without practicing for the ‘kink’ Olympics.
Ladies, you don’t have to be dolled up like Jenna Jameson every time you have sex. It’s nice for special occasions but can you imagine treating sex like a photoshoot all the time? Your hair doesn’t have to be perfect nor do you need editorial makeup all the time.
You have a pussy; he has a dick – that’s already 50% of the work done. Just add those two together and have a good time. All the other extras aren’t needed.
Mistake #4: Being A Selfish Lover
Don’t be that guy who wants his dick sucked but refuses to return the favor. Don’t be that lady who goes to sleep after oral sex and leaves her partner to beat his dick on his own.
If you don’t want to eat your wife’s pussy, there’s a good chance that she may find another guy who will. Likewise, for every woman that’s making their man do all the work in bed, Tinder gets one more sign up.
In order for sex to work, you need to work as a team and validate each other’s needs. Of course, you shouldn’t do things that make you feel uncomfortable, but the weight shouldn’t be on one person’s shoulders.
It takes two to tango and if your partner isn’t taking the time to ensure that sex is pleasurable for you too, then it’s time to have a talk.
Mistake #5: Refusing To Use Extra Reinforcement When Needed
You should never think that you’re above using sex toys or any sort of sexual supplement to satisfy your partner.
You could be the most sexually talented person in the world, but sometimes your God-given ‘tools’ are just not enough. If your partner is dry, use lubrication. Don’t start a fire in her pussy because you feel like you made her wet enough.
Don’t be afraid to incorporate toys into your sex life too. Most women need clitoral stimulation in order to cum so you can be doing your partner a big favor if you used a vibrating wand on her clit while banging her.
Using backup does not suggest that you are an incapable lover, in fact, it suggests the opposite.
Mistakes are a part of everyday life, even during sex things can get messy. It goes without saying that it takes a bit of practice to get it right.
There's plenty of expectations that come with sex, but there's nothing better than loosing all your inhibitions and letting the flow take you.
At the end of the day, like with anything in this world, you should treat your mistakes as learning experiences and use them to start improving your sex life moving forward!